
My Dad (right) his mate Ian (left) in Spain when they were lads.
Its coming up to the anniversary of the end of my Dads journey, I only call it an anniversary because I cannot avoid it as it comes around each year, someone told me it gets easier as time goes on but I don't agree, it just gets more distant.
I cant say I had the best relationship with my Dad but he did OK, the thing is you see once he was gone that was it, I had so much more left I wanted to do with him I wanted to feel old enough to challenge him more on his ways and I even looked forward to the day that I could get out the car and help him out but those days are gone.
Not a day goes by without me thinking of him, I have a picture on the wall at the foot of the stairs that reminds me of a time when I felt old enough to tell my Dad how I felt about growing up, It was my wedding day and a few months later I reached the age of 21 and my Dad wept on my shoulder and told me he loved me, something I had longed to hear for many years. I know he loved me because I can recall times when he really stuck his neck out for me and my brother. Sometimes I am not really sure what I miss, is it him or is the memory?
One thing I do know is I long to hold his hand and tell him I love him too, again. It wont happen in this life I know that but maybe, just maybe we will meet again.
He didn't often give me advice but I remember a time when he said if you want success go for it, don't go backwards go forwards and you'll reach it. That might not make a lot of sense to the reader but to me it meant everything and I will cherish the words.
So all I have of him is memories and a few photos and quite often dreams of him being peaceful and happy, something which he longed for, something which like all of us he deserved.
That anniversary will always come around and one of the memories which I wish I could forget is the phone call my brother made to me early that morning to tell me that Dad was gone, some memories are just not comforting at all. Although I said goodbye 8 years ago it seems like yesterday, time moves on but it feels like
I'm standing still.
I love you Dad and I miss you.